The next step

David says my self-sabatoging gene is working overtime.

I finally finished the rough draft of the Herms on Thursday and celebrated, then (guiltily) took a day off. A couple of things really bothered me, though.

1) I wasn't really thrilled with most of the chapter. Yes, it had the facts and sources. Yes, it ended well. Yes, some of the writing was totally satisfying. But it just didn't gel for me. After all, I told myself, it's just the rough. I usually go through at least 3 rewrites before I'm happy with a piece. And considering how much background I needed to gather just to learn what questions to ask, and to evaluate what I was reading, I did a fairly credible job. But still, I wouldn't want to have to turn it in to anyone in its present state. It's lifeless. It's shaky...

2) Though I loved the opening, it didn't fit in stylistically at all with the previous two chapters. It's as if these three pieces were meant for three different books. Or were magazine pieces for three different mags. What to do? If I'm going to get this honker published, I'm going to have to have some semblance of consistency.

So this AM I decided to go back to my favorite chapter so far- the Buddhas. I reread it and tightened it up and dropped into that world again. And I saw that it was good. Very good. That's what I want the whole book to be like. I just need to think how to do it.

Then I reread NYC 1776. It seemed messy next to the Buddhas. The basic part was really good and drew me in, but the beginning and end hung all over the place like a fat man's belt line. Then- inspiration! I cut out the penultimate paragraph and transplanted it to the beginning and cut and pasted and came up with a beaut. This, I thought, this is what I write like. This is what my stuff looks like when I take the time. So now I have a few more nips and tucks to go on NY and the pieces will match and I'll be happy and I can go on vacation for a while.

When I return, I'll get right to shredding everything I've done on the herms and reassembling it to match the other two. It's not just a question of style. It's a question of consistency. The last thig I want to have happen with this book is to have people jerked around and spinning from chapter to chapter so that they're dizzy just contemplating it. The content should be engaging and "new" enough so that I don't need to play with pyrotechnics just to hold people's attention.

David thinks it's "fear of success" that's leading me to rework the herms. But when I send this all out at the end of March, I want it perfect.